The New York Herald Tribune reported today that it had reviewed the leaked medical records of Donald Trump. It appears his personal physician, Juan Diego de Hernandez, inadvertently left these records on Seat 9c of Aeromexico flight 93 from JFK to Mexico City. According to the Herald Tribune these records indicate the following:

• Two 4 millimeter micro-drones were found to be attached to Mr. Trump’s skull during a routine exam on January 12th, 2016. These drones allegedly went unnoticed because of his extensive mane. Moreover, these drones, after removal were found to contain the neurotoxin Polychlorinated biphenyls (PCB) and it appears they had been transmitting this into his brain for some period of time, almost like a mosquito.
• Per the Dr.’s notes, it isn’t clear exactly how long this has been going on; additionally, this neurotoxin “has routinely been associated with reduced cognitive function in infancy and childhood. It is often present in foods, particularly fish, and can be passed along in breast milk.”
• Dr. Hernandez’s speculates in his notes that much of the incoherent babble coming from Mr. Trump’s mouth probably indicate that the PCB neurotoxin had compromised his prefrontal cortex.

Dr. Hernandez’s notes also indicate that these micro-drones were removed from Mr. Trump’s scalp once they were detected. It appears, based on Mr. Trump’s pronouncements since January 12th, that there has been permanent damage.