I ascribe to the alleged Tennessee Williams’ dictum:

There are only three great cities in the United States: New York, San Francisco, and New Orleans. All the rest are Cleveland.

Alleged because it’s not clear that he actually said it or who did. But the sentiment is right on. Yes, call me bigoted. I was born in NYC, went to college in NYC and lived in the area for 25 years and now reside in San Francisco. New Orleans: yep, been there a couple of times: it’s gritty, authentic, decadent; it’s got great food, great music, great history. It’s where adults and derelicts go for fun.

I was simply reminded of this after four days in Orlando, Florida, the antithesis of authenticity and perhaps the only place lower on the food chain than Cleveland. The best thing about Orlando – leaving. It was the obvious choice for The Book of Mormon’s skewering – a Disney fabrication, completely devoid of personality, smiley-happy androids masquerading as humans.

I’m 100% sure there are well adjusted, normal non Androids in Orlando. I didn’t happen to meet any but the odds are in its favor.For some reason I had forgotten this Happy Town wasn’t on my list of favorites before I voluntarily booked a flight to go watch my son play college baseball. I could have chosen another less objectionable Florida city but somehow, somewhere I must have had a fit of amnesia where I’d forgotten my previous jaunts to this Anaheim wannabe. But it all came rushing back on that American Airlines flight from Dallas to Orlando…a flight people with Mouse-eared pre-adolescents and screaming babies (BTW, I owe my purchase of overpriced Bose headphones at SFO to screaming babies).

I had forgotten because my four kids are now much older. And when your kids are older there’s one thing you’ve got going for you: you really don’t have any reason to go to Orlando.